A weekly comic strip, covering politics, pop culture, and the absurd.
I can't teach you about safe sex because it might encourage you to become promiscuous.
I can't tell you what airbags do. That information will make you think it's okay to start crashing into things.
I'm sorry class. We can no longer study Mexico. As you'd all run away to Tijuana if I told you what was there.
If I teach you girls how to rescue a burnt casserole, how can I trust you to follow the teachings of Heloise?
I'm afraid I can't tell you how Hannibal crossed the Alps. If I did, you crazy kids are likely to conquer the prom with elephants. Oops.
Trigonometry will no longer be taught. You could use that knowledge to calculate the trajectory of eggs thrown at my Geo Metro.
We won't be using safety glasses this year in shop class. I believe anyone who gets a wood chip in their eye had it coming.
Science has been cancelled because your parents prefer to believe in magic.
Feel free to substitute Kansas with any other state I will never visit.